Abandonment

My son was home, and the frolicking was magnificent. We got frozen yogurt, went to a party, ate cake, and then got junk food like Cheetos and Snickers to watch in front of a movie rental before he had to trundle back to school. But, my heart was not into the eating of the crap. I tried. I really did. I wanted to have butter from the homemade popcorn on my fingers, tempting my teeth to chip or crack as I tried to eat the very last buttery kernel. But, sadly, the food didn't do it for me. I am just not as interested in it as I was in the past.

Son went back to school, and now, dinner is not the most exciting thing on my agenda. The luster of cooking has been missing in my life for a while, but the eating, I was always down with. What will I do if eating doesn't do it for me anymore? Have I been abandoned by my comfort eating feelings of safety and relaxation?

It is an interesting concept. I would have to just get over things. Not be all justified because I had a bad day. Eat crap because I had a hard time navigating through my life. So, I would not eat to satisfy my angst. I would so love that.

My friend, Diana doesn't want to blog with me anymore. Her life is challenging and she is cutting her losses. No more gym, either. I am bummed. I changed the name of the blog from 2 women, 200 pounds 2 years, to 1 woman. 100 pounds. 1 year. but I completely understand her need to trim the fat in her life. Pun kinda intended. It is my mission to loose the weight. It is my mission to do the exercise... Molly might go with me. To exercise with her could be fun. Or maybe just be by myself.


There are all these thoughts about how you come alone into the world, and you leave it the same way. Maybe my abandonment worries are like that. People come and go out of my life, and I get to be who I am with them. Right now. I am Katy Fries, Large and Luscious. Over-weight, but alive and impish and full of love. They can take me or leave me, I really am okay either way... just want to live clean and be honest with myself and others. Those who have found me "too much", or "over-kill" are fine to take a step or two back, and either watch from the sidelines or move to a different channel.

So, food didn't comfort me today, and my grand plan of having my friend and I take this weight loss journey together is toast as well. I just have me, and my magnificent kids, cute husband and a desire to be well. My friend Diana will cheer from the side line and have her own experiences.

It is down to me, now. I will try to reaffirm my goals and make good progress with the diet and exercise. We will see how I do.